Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Election Connection: 2012 Collection

Remember the 2008 Presidential election?  If you don’t you might want to check out another type of blog- there is a pretty good one about messed up cakes.  Anyway, OF COURSE you remember that election, probably because that election was not just a 2008 election; people started announcing their candidacy years in advance.  So we shouldn’t be surprised that people are already forming “exploratory committees” (basically seeing if they can raise enough dough to run).  And you shouldn’t be surprised we will be blogging about it.  (Check back in January 2013 if you don’t want to see any election coverage.)

The first member of our “Collection of Candidates” was going to be none other than Barack H. Obama, but we couldn’t find his birth certificate, so we are going with the man, the hair, the Donald. (Pictured in a mock up 10$ bill of the future, because if you were not born in the United States you shouldn’t be President and you SHOULD NOT be on money.  Take that Alex Hammy).

He currently tops all other Republicans in a GOP poll and in amazing facial expressions while firing people.   And apparently Mr. Trump has been preparing for this run for a while- he bought the domain: trump2012.com in 2004.  Also when you’ve got Christ on your side, you might as well.*
*In no way can we speak for Jesus Christ, but Donald Trump’s dad's actual name was Fred Christ Trump,  or it says so on his birth certificate (probably)
We’ve had so many questions since Mr. Trump started asking for a single piece of Hawaii certified paper- Will he really run? Is this some amazing publicity stunt that would only be attempted by Mr. Trump himself?  Does he really think that he is the best candidate for the job?  Is he even a Republican?  (In 1987, he took out full page ads in several newspapers criticizing the Reagan Administration- which is kinda a no-no for Republicans.)
But he isn’t exactly talking policy- nothing specific at least (hey! Isn’t that what Obama does all the time?)  His biggest issue is not taxes, or the recession, or the wars.  It’s a birth certificate.   It apparently doesn’t matter that Obama actually has produced a certificate of live birth and that most Republicans have dropped the issue (even Mrs. Palin herself has). 
Of course, the Donald hasn’t always been one for facts: his entire world is crazy exaggeration.  Is the best show on television really The Celebrity Apprentice? (Might be now that Lost is over…)  And these ridiculous claims even have Glenn Beck (who has made a ridiculous claim or two) talking: "I could walk around the streets of New York without pants, and I could get attention," Beck said of Trump's assertions "But that's not going to help me."
The thing about Donald Trump is that he was a reality star before there were reality stars and like most reality stars you cannot tell if he is very stupid, very oblivious, or just VERY VERY smart (cough Snooki cough).  Even Rush Limbaugh had to ask “What is he doing? What is his objective?”  Is it a plot to split GOP votes? Is it a publicity stunt? Will he actually run?? (Seriously, I cannot wait for May 22nd because Celebrity Apprentice ends and I won’t have to look at Gary Busey in the commercials while I watch Parks and Recreation; also we might finally get a glimpse into Mr. Trump’s mind and figure out what’s up with the media parade about birth certificates?)
Of course we will all have to wait for a post- May 22nd world to know if he will actually put his hat in the ring (figuratively speaking of course because The Donald never puts synthetic fiber on his worth-more-than-my-life head of God awful hair) and if he does, this blog will obviously have something to say about it.  Until then, channel the Donald by always combing your hair to the left, marrying multiple times (to Eastern Europeans only), buying hotels and dipping them in gold, and of course never backing down to any reverse psychology dare by Sharon Osbourne (" You won't run for President in 2012, you won't").

You're Fired!

1 comment:

  1. hahaha brava TAG teamers, brava! *cough* use symbols when doing this *cough*

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